I Slept With Heath Ledger

January 28, 2008

girl-crying.jpg Written By: Woman – 30 – Bi – New York City

Not even my closest friends know about this. I can’t tell anyone but I feel an overwhelming urge to express what I’m feeling. These past few days it’s like I’m losing my mind. Sitting here with tears in my eyes, I don’t know what to do about it except write the truth. Last fall, while my fiance was traveling on business, I cheated on him with Heath Ledger.

I’m not a cheater. I did cheat on him once before, but that was two years ago, after I found out that he had cheated on me. We’ve patched things up since then. Last summer, he asked me to marry him.

I wasn’t out to cheat. It was the middle of the week, and I decided to go out to this usually quiet and cozy neighborhood bar near our apartment in Nolita. I know that probably sounds like some kind of evidence that I was out to get a man, but I wasn’t. I’ve always had a thing for going out to bars by myself. It’s like a challenge to myself and my self-confidence. True, I normally don’t go out to bars at midnight in the middle of the week when my boyfriend is around, but there really was no ulterior motive.

It took me a good ten minutes to realize it was he. If I’d known it was Heath Ledger sitting next to me at the bar, I’m sure I’d not have said a word to him. I’m not like that. Sure, he was a great looking guy and an obvious hunk, but I only started talking to him because he was also obviously alone and because he was sitting right next to me. It was really just a matter of chance, as are so many significant events in our lives, I’m now realizing.

He acted like he didn’t feel like talking, but I was already a little tipsy and, truth be told, I’m funny and a good conversationalist. Slowly, I broke him down. Of course, I’m also naturally blonde and pleasantly slender, which never hurts. I knew I was being a little annoying by forcing myself upon this stranger but I was having fun with it. It was only when he mumbled “you are somethin’ else” with this wry grin on his face that I realized it was Heath.

The realization hit me like a slap across the face. Suddenly I was stunned into silence. I probably drank half my beer in a succession of quick gulps over the course of about thirty seconds. I didn’t know what to say.

But then Heath started to open up a little. He wasn’t making much eye contact (whenever he did, I felt like I was going to fall on the floor), but he started joking and picking on me a little bit. It retrospect, I guess he was flirting with me, but at the time my mind was reeling so fast that I couldn’t do much more than offer up the occasional terse response. Our roles were suddenly reversed, with him doing most of the talking.

The more I held back, the more he seemed to like me. He didn’t seem at all messed up or drugged out as recent reports would lead us to believe. Maybe he was just having a good night, but I really believe that all of these stories claiming Heath was out of control are exaggerated. The time passed so quickly. I don’t know how many rounds we had. Eventually the drinks worked their magic, and I was able to regain my composure.

Then the bar was closing and we were walking down the street side-by-side, him telling me how he was going to London in a few days. It felt so natural to me, like I’d know this man forever. The only surprise was how tall he was. I clearly remember the overwhelming urge to bury my face in his chest. But I kept my cool. When we reached my building, I was nervous, despite all the drinks.

I jerked my head in the direction of the building and asked, “One more drink?” He was so cute. He smiled and stared down at the sidewalk for a moment. I really thought he was going to say no and I felt like a total idiot and a bimbo. But then he looked me in the eye, nodded his head and said, “Just one more.”

It was by far the most amazing sexual experience of my life. When he took me in his arms for the first time, I felt like I was going to just disappear into this man’s body. That’s what I wanted. He took complete control of me, and I let him have whatever he wanted. Feeling his strong hands gripping my narrow waist, I knew this was the feeling I’d been longing for my entire life. This was sex as it’s supposed to be, but as it so rarely is.

I can still feel his muscular back under my hands. That’s the sensation that has stayed with me the most. I wish I could remember more. I wish I could have him back with me again, even for just a moment.

My fiance is baffled by the way I’ve been acting these past few terrible days. He’s not complaining about all the intense sex we keep having, but when he looks at me I can see that he sees me as a stranger.

I know that Heath’s death has had a much greater impact on so many other people than it has on me. My heart aches for all of those who knew him and loved him more than I ever did. I know this is not about me. But my life has been changed by all of this. I know this is going to sound sad, but it’s really not: my entire life had just been a dress rehearsal for that moment when Heath took me in his arms. And the rest of my life, I know, will be nothing but a futile attempt to recapture that magical moment. But that’s ok. I wouldn’t trade those few hours with that amazing man for anything.

I’ll always miss you, Heath. I didn’t know you well, but there is one thing I’m more certain of than anything else in the world: you were a man. You were a real man.

Related Posts:

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Topics: Famous Cheats | 22 Comments »

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22 Responses to “I Slept With Heath Ledger”

  1. kimlolz Says:
    January 28th, 2008 at 11:15 am

    um well maybe he wasn’t messed up but obviously you were. sorry, meeting a celeb does not excuse you from cheating on your bf, i don’t care how special the whole experience made you feel

  2. billygoat Says:
    January 28th, 2008 at 11:19 am

    Well I’m straight and I’d do him. Even now.

  3. Teddy & Moo's Celebrity Pictures & Gossip Says:
    January 28th, 2008 at 2:43 pm

    […] A reader e-mailed this to me so I thought I’d post it.  It’s from a girl who had a one night stand with Heath last fall….HERE. […]

  4. Celebrity gossip - see it our way | “I Slept With Heath Ledger” | Says:
    January 28th, 2008 at 4:03 pm

    […] Anyhow it’s a bout a woman that claims she slept with Heath Ledger last fall. She didn’t go into very specific details, but she describes how they meet and claims he wasn’t self-destructive at all. If you’re interested in reading the full version, please visit this link. […]

  5. kittykat Says:
    January 28th, 2008 at 4:11 pm

    This sounds a bit far-fetched to me… your entire life was a dress rehearsal for a one-night stand with Heath Ledger? Hmmm….

  6. imgonnabarf Says:
    January 28th, 2008 at 8:40 pm

    This is the most over dramatic piece of writing. It was so hard not to laugh. “my entire life had just been a dress rehearsal for that moment when Heath took me in his arms” — seriously? That is what your whole life has been about? You should be proud. “And the rest of my life, I know, will be nothing but a futile attempt to recapture that magical moment.” — really? The rest of your life? Well that sucks. And you claim to be bi, but it looks to me like you’re looking for a “man. ……a real man.”
    This is laughable.

  7. hollyhood ridiculousness Says:
    January 29th, 2008 at 4:21 am

    why would you do this after the poor boy has passed away??

    let the poor boy rest in peace- this and all the speculation of his death is ridiculous!!

  8. jelo Says:
    January 29th, 2008 at 2:24 pm

    gosh! wake up from that dream, girl! or sleep again and keep on dreaming! come on, let Heath res in peace ya’ll!

  9. jenyjen Says:
    January 29th, 2008 at 5:52 pm

    you all realize that heath had a sex life when he was alive, right? ain’t like speaking of it is some kind of insult! please get real, please.

  10. CANDILD Says:
    January 29th, 2008 at 6:26 pm

    If whoever wrote this (written amazingly well I might add) would just add a few more hundred pages we’d have a good novel… Sounds like a lovely dream, wish I had had it.

  11. Ali Says:
    February 1st, 2008 at 11:11 am

    Looks like a cheap romantic novel piece. Sad thing, you have no scruples about the truth regarding a deceased person.

  12. Donna J Says:
    February 6th, 2008 at 2:57 pm

    I’m sorry, but I don’t believe a word of what she said. She’s not a cheater; yet she’s cheated twice and blames her boyfriend’s cheating as grounds to do the same? Bullshit. Then she says that he life has been a dress rehearsal for that moment when he took her into his arms? Are you kidding me? I actually laughed out loud at this declaration.

    Nice fiction, hardly fact.

  13. Jumbil2ya Says:
    February 6th, 2008 at 3:21 pm

    Maybe it did happen maybe it didn’t, Heath Ledger is gone, We should keep his memory alive but not this way, I really don’t care who he slept with and who he didn’t sleep with or who he dated and didn’t date, all I care about is the good he left behind, his beautiful daughter and his movies…these are things to keep alive! The good he left behind, RIP Mr Ledger.

  14. ashley Says:
    February 17th, 2008 at 7:58 pm

    Wow…in my opinion this is complete and utter bullshit! I’m in journalism…and trust me-anyone can create an anecdote such as this. He was my favorite actor, and it is likely that I could create something like this if I wanted the attention. But if it is true, please do him and everyone else all a favor, and leave your mouth closed. Just let him RIP like he deserves.

  15. Phyllis Says:
    March 19th, 2008 at 11:14 am

    If I had had the pleasure, (and I’m not saying I believe this woman), I would keep it private. Because Heath would want it private. He never talked specifics about sex or told tales publicly. He was a gentleman.

    (I don’t mean the my close friends would not know. But I would give him the respect and dignity of keeping it private from the throbbing masses.)

  16. NaughtyThoughts Says:
    March 19th, 2008 at 11:24 am

    I wanna know more. Heath is my fantasy man. I know it’s wrong, and I shouldn’t not wonder . .. but I want to know how he made love.

  17. Shelley Says:
    June 8th, 2008 at 9:27 pm

    Hey girl, I had that same dream!

  18. Yes Says:
    August 2nd, 2008 at 4:55 am

    I am not proud of it, but I read this and cried. Everyone else seems to think they would be immune. Pff. Being star struck is a powerful experience. The primitive part of her brain probably thought she was having sex with one of the gods or something. I’m pretty sure I would feel the same stupid way (“dress rehearsal”). Unless it’s fake in which case this is dumb.

  19. andrea Says:
    September 1st, 2008 at 11:03 pm

    Lucky you. I wouldn’t be able to resist either.

  20. Sophie Says:
    September 3rd, 2008 at 10:09 pm

    Just weeks later while working on the Terry Gilliam film, in London, it is reported that Heath was offered a drink. His response was that he had been dry for 17 months. So, I guess he wasn’t drinking with anyone, in any bar at the time this woman fantasizes. Great fanfiction though.

  21. michelle drake Says:
    September 7th, 2008 at 1:54 pm

    yeah perhaps this was true. i would just like to know what happened in the morning. why would you go back to a normal life and never see him again?

  22. meligha Says:
    October 6th, 2008 at 2:39 am

    Please tell me where you found out this information. I now speculate an entirely different Heath……