Husband Gives Wife Permission To Sleep With Other Men
April 17, 2008
Written By: Woman - 42 - Bi - Atlanta, Georgia
I’m really torn by this situation. My husband is much older than me. Ten years ago, when we first met, he introduced me to “the lifestyle.” That this world of swingers even existed was really shocking to me at the time but now it’s something that is the most exciting and interesting part of my life. Not sure what that says about me, but whatever. We probably got together with this group of swingers only two or three times a year. In recent years, however, my husband has lost interest. He has had problems keeping erections and refuses to go to the doctor about it. He has pretty much stopped trying to have sex with me, too.
A year ago, he gave me permission to sleep with other men and said that he just didn’t want to go to swinger parties anymore. I could tell he didn’t like the idea of my going alone. I’m sure he was hoping I’d say that I didn’t want to go without him. But I just told him the truth. I didn’t know how I felt. The idea of going without him made me feel sad and even guilty but the idea of never entering that world again was depressing. In a way, I feel like I’m really starting to enjoy sex in a way that I never did before.
So I started going without him but kept it a semi-secret. I know most people would say that it is best to communicate but I’m sure it would upset him and, honestly, I’m afraid he’ll change his mind and demand that I don’t go anymore. Honestly, the secrecy makes me feel like I’m cheating on my husband. I’m pretty sure he knows what I’m doing but would prefer to keep it under the surface. I don’t want to deal with it either but I don’t want him to be upset. My love for my husband is in conflict with what I know is my own selfishness.
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May 11th, 2008 at 4:21 am
Sounds like your husband is pretty cool. You need to tell him, and the longer you leave it the worse it is. We should not be afraid of a little over reaction, your husband has been totally open, your behaviour doesn’t make sense, and thats why you wrote the blog. It may even bring you loser together, and who knows, he’ll join you next time.
May 11th, 2008 at 4:23 am
typo - that was ‘closer together’